Prince Charming of Purpose Doesn’t Exist. You’re better off for it.
The Disneyland fairytale of falling in with your true love at first site and living happily ever after has been largely discarded, even by Disney movies. This is for the best because relationships can grow slowly, with mutual consent, a little work, and interdependence. A dramatic rescue that results in life long love is magical and not exactly the right foundation for life-long bliss.
At the same time most of us are thinking the same magical concept applies to our purpose in life, if not our love life. Hagrid will chase us down on our 11th birthday and reveal the reason why we are suffering under a cupboard is BECAUSE WE’RE A WIZARD! Hence, your life purpose is fulfilled.
It’s a nice thought for children that someone, somewhere will recognize our talents and passions and mentor us into our purpose, but adulthood rarely works on childhood logic. Well, if we’re lucky that is. The nice thing about being an adult is having many options to do whatever you want, like eating ice cream for breakfast or spending your free time growing a little arbor or staying up all night or sleeping all day or deciding if you’re going to follow the advice regarding your life from some internet article you’re reading. It’s up to you.
Freeing in one sense. The possibilities are not endless yet they are vast. There are so many things to do in this whole wide world and at the same time humans are a cosmic speck in an ongoing universal explosion. The upshot to this is that there isn’t someone around dealing out the purpose of life either. Believing in created meaning is part of the human experience.
Of course, there are plenty of religious and spiritual and humanistic paths that offering meaning and purpose. Yet within and outside those systems some still yearn for a purpose. Perhaps we are thinking that a prince charming of purpose will make eye contact with us and there will be a mutual instant falling in love. This idea should gently be left behind along with other simplistic understandings of life.
It’s helpful to think of the search for purpose in the same way soulmates are actually sought out in ways more fantastic than Disney could ever comprehend. There are hardly any instances of love at first sight, but it does happen. There are a lot of duds. There are flings into the unknown that work wonderfully. There was a fantasy about the person, but once reality set in, it was time to go. There is a feeling that this is just right. There are tears that fill oceans. Even when the right person is found, there is still work done on both sides to ensure that the relationship is mutually beneficial and uplifting. There are times when the benefit of commitment is not apparent. There are times when commitment is what saves the fabric of our being. There is sacrifice that is worth risking our lives for, there is time wasted. Most have a ‘type’ formed by societal and parental influences that matches well. For others, it’s better when they break free of the typecast and create a new destiny. There is ecstasy beyond comprehension. Passion goes unrequited. Hearts are broken and closed. They are re-opened and mended. And so on.
The advantage to discarding prince charming in love and purpose is that it gives power for everyone decide what works and seek it out now. There is no need to wait to be recognized; seek mentors out. When the student is ready, the teacher appears — goes the ancient quote by Lao Tzu — but the quote doesn’t mean the student was idling by when a teacher popped into existence. Quite the opposite. The student must work to be ready. Then the teacher is recognized and the way unfolds. It turns the responsibility on us to understand what purpose will bring us personal and communal flourishing, and leaves prince charming out there to do whatever he’d like to do with his own life.
